Nathalie is a lovely reader from Ireland and a fellow blogger who commented on an earlier post today asking about a statement I made along the lines of doing what you are meant to do in this world. Nathalie expressed that she’s in search of her calling and started her design blog as a way to explore a world that she feels connected to and that gives her happiness, but she sees herself doing more. “I love design, interiors, art but am not sure which area to focus on,” Nathalie continues, “I know the day I will find out I will definitely go for it.”
She then asks, “Do you have any suggestions on how to find your calling in the design world? Is there anyone out there that feels the same way? What are we supposed to do when we don’t know?”.
This is a great topic Nathalie. Really. Great. I can’t wait to explore it here on decor8. I have a million ideas to share including how important it is to carry an umbrella (ella ella) with you as you travel down your newfound path. I’ll also explain what type of umbrella I speak of. I will work on rounding up 10 people including myself that have found their calling and I’ll ask them exactly how they did it and post that here along with their advice on how anyone can find their voice. We’ll get you the answers that you need, Nathalie!
If YOU readers have any tips or questions on this topic, please leave them below so I can include them in next week’s article.
Stay tuned and thank you for getting the ball rolling on this topic, Nathalie!
(umbrella from stylish stuff via design undercover)
March 26th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Design for Mankind just had a great discussion up on this – well more like surviving financially as an independent artist. You can check it out in the comments section on this post – http://designformankind.blogspot.com/2008/03/dailies-marisa-from-creative-thursday.html
and I did a follow up on this topic on my blog here – http://pleasesirblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/living-fulfilled-life.html
March 26th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Great topic! I feel the same, my friends say how good I am at this and that.
But how can I channel my energy in one (and which) direction? its so hard to decide or know what to do?
I have just left behind my old comfortable job to start a new job which is awful and in no way related to interiors or design, I must have been mad but it has just made me more determined to work for myself.
I read all my favorite blogs and see how all these clever women are starting their own businesses but I still feel a bit baffled by it all.
(is there such a thing as too much inspiration?)
Jess
March 26th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Holly,
thanks so much again, you have no idea how much this means to me.
I am really over the moon and feel so priviliged to be part of this great community :)
March 26th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
This is a really good topic though I do believe that what you are meant to do has cycles and changes over the years.
I am not in the career that I had planned on when I was an Industrial Design major in college. Through personal choices unrelated to my career, I took a job completely unrelated and wound up learning more about the world and myself and worked my way up to high level management in a short span of time.
When more personal choices took me to a new geographic location, I abandoned the corporate life, began working for a non profit, producing and selling my art, volunteering my time to various organizations and serving and leading the board of a local guild. I am now well respected and known in my community for the work that I have done.
This is the shorter version of the story of course but basically I just kept my eyes and mind open to all new opportunities that crossed my path as well as seeking out events that might lead me to the next opportunity. Remaining positive about whatever I was doing at the time because all of life is a learning experience.
I have come to a point where I need new challenges now and all these experiences that have lead me to where I am will enhance whatever next opportunity I choose to follow.
Some people have the knack for knowing what they are meant to do for their life. For me, it is the journey of collected experiences through life that teach me where to look to find where I am supposed to be.
I wish all the readers here luck on their journeys!
March 26th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
GREAT TOPIC!
So many people go through life feeling that empty “unfulfilled” feeling. And that’s simply not how it’s supposed to be. I believe that God has a dream for everyone of us and he created us specifically for something that makes our heart’s sing.
Part of my mission on my blog is to inspire and encourage others to find this calling of theirs and have the COURAGE to take the leap off the road that SOCIETY screams we should be on. Check out more at http://www.offthewallhome.com/blog/2008/02/12/be-thought-of-as-foolish/
Life is about more than fitting in and having “success” as the world see’s it. You just can’t be scared to pursue your dream!
Hope this helps Natalie, and I can’t wait to read more about this:)
March 26th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Thanks SO much for addressing this. I have the same questions. I love art, design, interiors, etc. but do not know how to translate that into a new career. I suspect the question is not so much “what do I love to do?” but “what do I love to do that other people might value, that is, pay for?”
I make a decent living (financially if not spiritually now) and, to be completely honest, I’m also a little hesitant about the whole “starving artist” thing. Maybe that’s shallow, but it’s a real concern since I’m the primary breadwinner in my family now.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
First:
Oh my god, is the umbrella by NOA NOA?
An umbrella at hand is always good, you never how harsh the wind blows. It’s also quite handy for stormy critics. By the way, you don’t have to please the whole world.
I’m actually in the middle of finding my way. I live in Germany and am a New-Berliner. The craft scene is not so lively as in the states or Great Britain. But thanks to Holly who posted some very interessting Berlin links I’m moving: I quit my fulltime job as a copy writer in the commercial business and now eagerly doing some crafty card project. I came across the whole craft thing via Holly. So I owe you a lot!!! Really!!! Since about one and a half year I’m now professionally obsessed with craft. And when I try to locate and understand why i’m now right in this situation in my life – quitting a fulltimejob and looking for a halftime job because of my craft obsession and setting up an etsy shop – well the answers lie in my childhood. I can’t immage my life without colours and beautiful things. You will feel your calling. It’s a very emotional thing. You can’t explain it rationally. I found it through persistence. I didn’t force it. So one leads to another. You won’t even recognize that your on the right way. There’e an chinese Prover that says “The way is the goal”. Maybe it sounds kitchy but it’s true.
And always remember: Keep calm and carry on.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I feel like this post was meant for me! As I sit here beginning my professional career (recent graduate from architecture school), I am continually beckoned to all these design blogs and especially d8. I know I have time to figure it out but I also don’t want to wait! Thanks so much for the post and all your postings as they’ve been super helpful in inspiring and enlightening me in the ways of the design world.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
My concern is that I have no formal education or training in design and I feel that at 35 I’m too old to go back to school full time. How would I support myself!?
March 26th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
I once read that to find your calling look back on your childhood and see what made you happy. I tried law and then psychology and came back to drawing, paper, and fabric which has always made me happy. I used to make tiny pillows and ship them to my grandmother when I was little and now I’ve started the process of doing it for a living. Once I realized that and kept it in my heart I was inevitably led right back there.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
This is a very interesting topic and one which I am also wrestling with. I hope you give us some good advice.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I’m not in the design business, but I do make my living doing something creative, so I hope it’s okay for me to comment here. I have found that the more I move towards what makes me happy, the more successful I am.
I find it useful to study what other people have done but I know that my career path will be completely unique – and that it will unfold at its own pace.
Do your very best work every time. No project is too small when you’re starting out. Make every project fabulous. I don’t believe in bad clients – even in the most difficult situations, I believe that there is a way to make people happy in the end. There’s this interesting idea out there that to be successful in your own career, you need 1,000 fans. We all start at 0 and move forward with each beautiful, careful, thoughtful, creative piece of work we produce.
Best of luck, Nathalie!
March 26th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
This is a really interesting discussion. I know it can be hard to find your calling for many people. My sister just turned 33 and decided she wants to make handmade cards…this is after years of being undecided. Me? I’m a planner, so I worked my life out at 23.
I studied Graphic Design in college with a minor in Fibers. I loved Graphic Design as well as making things with my hands. But when I went to London for an internship with a fashion designer, I worked out the next 6 years of my life. I decided to go to London after college, do Graphic Design for 4 years, then start my own business doing something in textiles…I didn’t know what but all I could see were screen-printing tables and large windows. Now when I was about to graduate I didn’t want a job where I was going to sit in front of the computer 24/7 so I kind of new textiles was something I wanted to explore more…but what would I do with it?? I took different classes, I loved making books, screen printing, doing patterns by hand etc. Then I realized I spent a lot of money buying bags and shoes, and I said to myself maybe I should make bags! And then I did a project on it, and I was immediately hooked.
Anyway, to find your calling, you have to be patient. It’s bad to look at people who have found theirs, and compare yourself because you’ll just end up beating yourself up for no reason. I saw so many people in college ready to do what they love, and even though I made my plan, I was still clueless on what i wanted to do before I made bags. And it made me pretty sad…and I was only in my early 20′s being extremely hard on myself.
Ways to find your niche, is just to do things in all the avenues you love. Even do things that you didn’t think you’d do…it doesn’t hurt to try. If you travel, collect things like postcards, flyers, anything related to design or things you love. I have a large book of things that I have collected everywhere…from a flyer that had a font I liked, to an invitation I have received, to a menu from a restaurant, to a swatch of fabric I loved . Go to art shows, collect leaves, just do anything that inspires you, and you’ll find that there is just one thing that makes you the happiest. Then when you find that, try to work out a way that will make you money, and of course a way to make it different than what someone else has done.
But the trick is to be patient. I’ve seen blogs like decor8 and design sponge and I would love to be as successful as them, but I realize that it took them time to get where they are. So as long as your patient, and just take the time to do many things untill you find what works for you, it will be fine. Some people find their calling at age 60. You never know. But when you do, it will be worth while and you’d be happy for all the experiences you had while trying to find it. And you’ll be a stronger person because I tell you, when you do something on your own, you deal with a lot, but you just have to keep going in order to succeed.
I hope I helped a little. I was just really into this topic as I have friends that haven’t found their thing, and I remember when I was in that position too.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I am just starting out on this “new path” as a wedding photographer and the only little bit of advice I can give you is to set concrete goals. They can start small and grow larger as you accomplish more and more of them.
Also, find a mentor! It might not be the easiest thing to do, but if you can find someone willing to give you solid advice and guidance, it’s so very helpful, especially if you are new to business practices (taxes, incorporating, all that stuff they didn’t teach you at art school).
So very interested in reading this article!!
March 26th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Well, My name is Christa and I and my husband are the founders of a non-profit called Go International.tv I am a minister and some one who truly enjoys the creative arts. How does that fit together? I wrote a blog on it recently (posted on our website) for young people about finding what you love and doing it.
Here is the link to my blog if you would like to read:
http://bacacreative.blogspot.com/2008/03/painting-in-yellow-do-what-you-love.html
March 26th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Could it be as simple as doing what you are most passionate about? What gets your blood pumping? I wanted to be an architect from an early age and I am a practicing one now so my situation may be different. I see the goal of doing what I am meant to as a path, each step building on the previous. How one gets from A to B I think is different for each of us and it’s never a straight line. If you’re not sure what is out there for you take small steps, like taking one class or workshop in the area that you are considering. Start a blog like someone mentioned. Talk to other people in those fields. I think people in the creative fields are much more willing to help and divuldge info. You have to put yourself out there and connect with people even in the smallest way. Doors open when you do that and sometimes your path becomes a bit clearer. And don’t forget about friends and family. If you provide a service or make/sell a product, use them as your guinea pigs when starting out. They can refer you and get the word out so you can get an idea of demand/interest for your service or product.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
one last thing. I am getting some great encouragement by the wise words from the comments here. So exciting.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
one comment that I would make on this subject is that, for most people, getting to a comfortable point in your career takes time and patience. as a graphic designer, i had to spend a few years doing some less-than-exciting work. . . but it led me to a place in my career where I’m doing more of what I want and really enjoying it. it helps to be humble, willing to ask questions, and willing to be very proactive in looking for work.
this is a topic near and dear to me so I’m excited to see what others have to say.:)
March 26th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
One thing that might help you to get started on your path, is to work (or volunteer) in the industry that you think you are interested in. I had wanted to own a retail store since way back in grade school. Over the years, I went to college, married, had a child, but never opened that retail store. Then after years of working in the corporate world, I left to pursue a career that would put a smile on my face everyday. It wasn’t easy to leave the secure paycheck and benefits, but I felt I had no choice. This is my life and I am the only one who can make it what I want it to be. Anyway, since I hadn’t worked retail in so long, I took a job as an operations manager for a high volume gift and women’s clothing store. I learned so much about running a retail business and it was just what I needed to convince myself that I did indeed want to own my own store.
I opened that store, loved it for six years and then sold it so I could pursue the next chapter in my life as an interior designer. After 20 years, I went back to school to earn a second degree in interior architecture and design. Don’t ever let age stop you. And, through inspiration from blogs like decor8 and others, I’ve even started my own blog.
So, my suggestion is to work in the area of design in which you are most interested. If you don’t find that this is feasible at this point, then attempt to meet people that work in the industry and spend time with them. Ask them about their careers, how they got started, highs and lows, etc. Most people who love what they do are more than happy to talk about it with others. I think most of us have been where you are right now and we understand the frustration. Never give up on what you truly desire. It will happen for you.
Best of luck!
Ann Marie
thatgirldesigns.blogspot.com
March 26th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
When my son was born 10 years ago, and I started dabbling in this craft and that craft, my husband brought home a book called “Creating a Life Worth Living: A practical course in career design for artists, innovators and others aspiring to a creative life” Wow! It’s filled with exercises that will challenge you to not only reach deep within your heart and soul to see what’s there, but also to be brutally honest with yourself, which we don’t do enough. Despite the array of changes in the creative/design fields since 1997 (particulary with regard to access), the book is still a great tool to get you thinking about thinking!
From my own personal experience, I moved from one stepping stone to another as my desires and skills changed. I let my creative self evolve by paying close attention to cues from my surroundings as well as my own “lightbulb” moments, making friends and opportunities along the way, getting in touch with my own style, listening to my inner voice, letting my own passions rise to the surface and giving way to them always. I came to a few crossroads, but I *finally* feel like I’m where I belong and can see myself for a verrrrry long time! I will continue to grow but moreso within my medium than across mediums. It doesn’t fee like work anymore…that’s how I knew what path to follow.
Good luck Nathalie!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I echo so many of these sentiments, and it’s immensely comforting to know there are so many others out there with the same questions, concerns, and most importantly the same desire to walk the daily path of doing what we love, even if it means walking away from something stable and comfortable. Deciding upon those steps has always been where I’ve gotten a little lost (can I do this, and what exactly is it I should be doing?) so thanks very much for exploring this topic!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Follow what gave you joy in childhood, leave yourself open for an epiphany moment, be willing and able to reinvent yourself and connect with others that have similar interests. ~Janet~ @Shabbyfufu Designs
March 26th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
This is an excellent topic and I think many of us are in the same boat. I am a true believer in pursuing what you are passionate about but at the same time, it can be difficult to pin-point your niche and better yet, make a decent living once you do. I am currently an interior designer for a firm specializing in model home design for new home builders. I really enjoy my job and have grown tremendously in the 4 years I?ve been with my company. Before this, I spent 2 years in residential design and that was enough to make me realize, residential isn’t for me. Although I like where I am now, I’m ready to move on to possibly starting my own business. I have a few ideas brewing in my head but I?m still searching.
My advice is to just start somewhere ? whether it?s part time at a design firm or cool art store or taking a class about something you love?by opening one door, it will inevitably lead you to more opportunities. Give yourself time to try different avenues and be patient. It may be in a few months or years from now but eventually you will find your true calling!
I wish you the best of luck :)
March 27th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I struggle with this a lot, too — I’m so unhappy in my current job, but have no idea where to go because my job search is so unfocused. I will say, on the topic of finding one’s calling — and this may sound cheesy — but I somehow happened upon a commencement speech that Matthew Fox (Lost actor) gave at Columbia. I forget how I came across it, but there were some good points. I think one of my favorite parts was:
“When you turn away from one path, there?s rarely a fully-formed passion waiting to greet you. You have to trade fear for trust. There was no bolt from the blue for me when it came to acting. There rarely is for anyone. There is only the aggregate of a hundred decisions, and instincts, and experiences. And if you trust in yourself, each one readjusts your path a little bit until five, or ten, or eighteen years from now you say, ?I?ve arrived at a place where I?m doing exactly what I feel like I?m meant to be doing.?
Sorry to leave such a long post, but I do remember reading his speech for whatever reason, and finding it helpful. Good luck everyone, and one last part of the speech I really liked was when he said this:
Live for your own passion, not the aspirations or expectations others have for you.
Good luck all!
March 27th, 2008 at 1:05 am
It is so great to read comments from people who are in the same boat (and those who have already taken the plunge). I have a well-paying job at a huge software company, and everyone in my family thinks I’m crazy for wanting to leave and start my own business – especially my husband, since I am the breadwinner (but don’t tell him I told you that). But what will my business be? I don’t know yet. I love to write. I love antiques. I love to write funny stuff about antiques. Can I make a living at that? Hmmm…I don’t know yet. But I know that I will have a life of regrets if I don’t do something soon!
March 27th, 2008 at 1:47 am
How nice of you explore this topic! I can’t wait to read your posts. You are such a sincere, considerate writer…Reason #1 I will always be reading and recommending your blog!
March 27th, 2008 at 3:27 am
What a great topic! It’s one that I was mulling over a couple of years ago, and now I believe I have reached a point in my life where I’m a little more certain of my path in life.
As Erinn said, it might be something you’re most passionate about, but it may also be something that you may have forgotten — something you were drawn to in childhood, but the realities of daily life somehow took them away.
I am the sort that likes to think up a lot of ideas and solutions, and one by one, I would go out and do it to see if it’s the right fit for me. Even if I was wrong about it, then my consolation was that I did it with integrity and an open mind.
In a nutshell? Try everything at least once, and then you’ll know exactly where you want to be.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:49 am
i’m interested to hear what others have to say about this, as i’m new to actually following my path and still not sure exactly where it’s going, but it seems you just have to start doing something…and little by little, you figure out where your next steps will take you, and it’s not always in the direction you originally thought.
if you just start, though, you will have done the hardest part. the rest starts to fall into place from there. and there is no “wrong” choice on where to begin!
March 27th, 2008 at 5:10 am
Wow, it’s fantastic to read that I am not the only person going through this! I have recently felt completely overwhelmed with options, and then utterly guilty that I have all these fantastic resources and skills but I just didn’t know where to start! So in the end, just recently, I started. I don’t have any formal art/design training, I’ve just always had a reasonably good eye and artistic skills inherited from my grandmother. So, rather than try to limit myself to only being a painter, or only working with printing or fabrics or this or that, I’m going to start slow and do them all. I’ve recently started working with digital art – I’ve never done it before but always wanted to try, so I am. I’d love to make books, so I’m hoping to do a book-binding course soon. Its such a relief to finally get beyond artist’s block and just do it! I figure that eventually I will work out what it is I really want to do, and then I’ll be able to focus. For now, I’m improving and refining and exploring, and Loving it!
March 27th, 2008 at 5:43 am
I am definitely looking forward to these articles!
I am in the middle of changing my college major from a practical business major to something I believe I will enjoy. It is so nice to hear everyone share that they too were scared when they made similar decisions. It is very inspiring to hear of others who have succeeded.
Thanks for sharing this!
March 27th, 2008 at 6:27 am
as a once upon a time path seeker, I really feel for those with this question. I think for me the most important thing (and lesson learned) was to wait…patiently…and still be doing things while you search for that direction. oh and open youreself up to new experiences, ideas, and possibilities. There’s nothing more horrible than a dream knocking and you wont open the door because it’s a strange wonky thing that you don’t recognize as a door. that’s kind of a wierd comment, no?
March 27th, 2008 at 11:29 am
awesome topic holly! looking forward to your posts on this.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Whew -I am not alone! I too love art and decorating and have been complimented and encouraged by friends to get into the field. Honestly, I am 42, an accountant for the gov’t and not interested in going back to school. I am one of those people who “can do the job” I just need someone who is willing to take me in and let me prove it. HELLO?!Anyone out there in the D.C. – Alexandria area interested?
March 27th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Who of you all has been at the turning point when you re-evaluate your life and start thinking – this can’t have been it? You are standing at the crossroads and wonder what on earth you have been up to for the last 40 years (yes, I have just turned 40 – maybe I have entered my personal midlife crisis??:o)), and whether the next 40 aren’t meant to be better and more tailored to who YOU are?
I am somebody who cannot decide, either. I have got many interests, but none of them really predominant. I am a very crafty/artsy person, and I love painting, just hardly ever have the time (or don’t make the time?). My life has been stagnant for quite a while, and in October last year I decided it was time for a change.
I started learning as much as I could about the Internet and making money through the Internet, as I was determined to start earning my own money again. And finally, just recently, I have had just a little success. WHAT A FEELING! And the best part is that I AM HAVING FUN DOING IT!
Now call me boring, but even though I love being creative (and decorating, yes, you can check out my very first website http://www.mybeachdecor.com), my next project – while still working on the Internet Businesses – is doing a course in Quickbooks and start doing my own bookkeeping, and I am looking forward to that.
At the same time I intend to free up some time to do some painting and maybe a few painting classes.
So even though I haven’t found my calling, I am definitely making progress in the right direction, meaning I have started looking after myself and what I like doing again, not only after others.
So I guess you should always “be a little selfish, too, because when you are happy, those close to you are more likely to be happy, too.”
I wish everybody a happier, more fulfilled, exciting life!
March 27th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
This is a great topic; one I have followed in my own life since my early 30′s; ok, it has only been six months (just kidding—wish I was still 30 1/2). I highly recommend any of the books written by Julia Cameron; the artist way is one may people know of, but much of what she writes in in support if this very topic, even if your field isn’t “creative” per se, and I have to say, her books are so inspiring, even the quotes in the margins get you thinking and force you to question your path and get more real. Thanks for sharing this; what inspires you and what drains you; seek more of what inspires you, believe you can make a living doing it and ask for support—that is all i know and the ask for support part is my biggest challenge—but I am working on it. thanks again,
jana
March 27th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
What an interesting topic! By trade, I work as an digital effects editor for movies and commercials, but I long to create something someone can actually touch. I’ve been in this business for about 15 years, and in between, I’ve created a line of scented candles and sold it in craft fairs, and now I am making crochet bikinis. I love this website- and it’s even wanting me to design my own wallpaper and lamp shades! I want so much I just don’t know what to focus on! What’s difficult, and ironically easy about being an artist is that there is no fixed path to get where you want to. No such thing as the corporate ladder here, so you actually create your own path to get where you want. For me… there’s so much I want to create, I have a hard time identifying what I am to be. I can’t wait for this article. Maybe I can finalize what I will be….
March 27th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
This is a great topic. I recently graduated with a BFA in Interior Design and now I am fiddling around waiting for something to “speak to me”…..I have discovered Etsy from the wonderful Decor8 blog and I am experimenting with furniture refinishing to sell on that site….I just want to wake up and do what I love every day of my life….the problem is I love everything!
March 27th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Oh my goodness, I could talk for hours on this topic! But I’ll be brief here.
I left my career job at 31 (scary! but so right for me) and tried a little bit of everything. I approached my creative journey the way I drive in a new neighborhood or city: I may get a little lost, but that’s how I’ll get to know a place and ultimately find my way!
I think you have to just start wandering through your interests, get a little lost, and if you just keep moving forward and making adjustments it will lead to something very you.
Holly, thanks for opening up the discussion – can’t wait to read more!
March 27th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I think creatives all feel this way at one time or another. I persued my dream of fashion accessory design, landed my dream job and have been working my tail off for “the man” for 4 years and have found that maybe my dream has changed. I recently write a business plan, which has helped me greatly steer my new dream in a real and honest direction. I think putting things down on paper helps so much, write out a list of things you are good at, things you could see yourself doing for longer than short term and maybe even form a business plan out of it, it doesnt have to be a formal plan, like opening a shop or starting a real business, but maybe a plan for yourself and the type of business you see yourself working in. I have been working on this plan for a few weeks and it has not only inspired me but also my other creative friends, plus they have been constantly supporting my idea which has pushed me to finding a way to make it actually work.
So hopfully at some point my cupcake/art/recycled furniture and craft store business will open up and be able to inspire other creatives to make crafts and eat cupcakes:)
March 27th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I am SO glad this topic came up. I can honestly say that decor8 has inspired my artistic abilities more than anything. It has opened my eyes to all of the different possibilities that are available. I am constantly struggling with what is it that I am passionate about. I have SOOOOO many interests, that I cannot channel in on one thing and that is where I really struggle as an artist. I enjoy painting, interior decorating, graphic design, sewing etc… But, what is that one thing that will keep me going day after day? What will keep up at night with excitement when I need to go to sleep and bounce me out of bed in the morning? Financially, I am at a peak in my career, and how do I know when or if a change will bring me the income that I need? Great topic. I can’t wait to hear more. I’ve actually been meaning to ask the same question, but for whatever reason, didn’t have the nerve to do it.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I have been dabbling with some new career plans the past few years and have found Martha Beck’s book – Finding Your Own North Star to be very helpful! It has many ideas on how to narrow down your search and make plans to get to a place where YOU will be happy. Check it out! It has helped me a lot!
March 27th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Try, try, try. Even if you have 10 different ideas for what you might want to do with your career, try them all. It really is the only way to find out what will or will not work for you. Eventually you will find your “niche”, but not if you just sit at a desk and make plans on paper and weighing the pros and cons all day (I should know – that was me for a long time). And don’t be afraid of failure – it is just “life” bumping you back to the road your were meant to be on.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
First of all, that umbrella is amazing, especially the tassel!
Second, my advice is to do everything that interests you, even a little bit. Try it all.
I haven’t found my “calling” yet either. Sometimes it’s really frustrating when you know other people have found success by being so focused and concentrated on one thing. I think it’s a little harder to get ahead with my “do it all” approach, but hopefully things will fall into place eventually.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I think it would be great to have a discussion on how to get over the fear, that lack of confidence, that little voice that is telling you that you are absolutely crazy to be pursuing this dream. For me, it’s not that I don’t know what I want to do. I do. I have laid it all out time and again, but it’s the fear I can’t get over. How do I take that first step and work in this world that I absolutely love?
March 27th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
This is very timely for me, too. I’ve been in a major creative slump lately and just desperately want to figure out what I want to do with my life. I was lucky enough to achieve my “dream career” from middle school onwards, and until almost two years ago I was a writer at a major magazine in NYC. But the whole time I was thinking “ok, great, but this isn’t the kind of magazine I thought I’d write for” while waffling between wanting to cover harder news and try for that Pulitzer, or go ahead and apply at Domino and Martha Stewart and let my creativity run free. I did neither; I ended up moving to New Hampshire when I got married and my husband had another year of grad school to go.
I freelanced from home for the year and was miserable, and when we moved to Boston I took a job as a business consultant. That’s right, I went from a creative industry to a corporate one. It’s been great, actually, and I’m really enjoying the intellectual rigor, but not playing with fun products and writing snotty stories has definitely made me more aware of wanting to be creative.
As much as I really want to get an industrial design degree and design *stuff,* I just don’t see how it could work for me–I have literally not one prerequisite under my belt, and it would take me years to be able to even apply to a program–for now I am settling for serious exploration of what it is that excites me in terms of art and craft. I am babysitting a friend’s sewing machine while she’s abroad, and want to try making all kinds of things. And next week I’m starting a pottery class, which I am SO excited for. I’ll keep the consulting up for a while and see if I have more clarity in another year or two, I guess.
(The blog community definitely feeds the longing for a creative and fulfilling life…I blog about food but I read all the design blogs compulsively, and they make me crave beauty even more than I already did.)
March 27th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
this is a great topic, but perhaps a uniquely american one?
i’ve spent a fair amount of time living in europe and it seems that, at least in the countries i’ve experienced (denmark, france and germany), it’s very difficult to up and change once you’ve hit adulthood. (or in some cases even before.) in so many countries your livelihood isn’t your life’s passion, and it doesn’t define you. i think that regardless of what you do professionally it’s important to find something that you are passionate about.
i think that if you follow your passions and let the off the pressure of “finding what i am meant to do” that you will find your own path organically. let your passions define you, not your career. live life for the everyday and not the future when you have “everything worked out”.
March 28th, 2008 at 1:10 am
This is such an inspiring discussion. Holly, you should create a forum where we can talk about things like this all the time. Why not?
Anyway, this topic inspired me to start contacting people for advice on pursing my dream of opening a home accessories store. I’m still in college, so I haven’t even had a career change yet (though I’ve considered nearly them all), but I want to start off on the right foot.
What aphrochic said above really struck me, “I think it would be great to have a discussion on how to get over the fear, that lack of confidence, that little voice that is telling you that you are absolutely crazy to be pursuing this dream.” It hit me that what keeps me from really pursing some of my dreams is the fear of being crazy and that it won’t work out. And realizing that I think I’m crazy, and saying, “No, you’re not, you CAN do this, or anything else you want to do,” is really inspiring me to keep going forward.
Anyway, Holly, like a lot of people are saying, please help us find a way to continue to talk about this topic.
March 28th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I have already learnt so much from the comments of the readers above. Thanks ladies!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:22 am
Other than design, there isn’t a subject I’m more passionate about than finding your “calling”, “life’s path”, or “destiny”. I’ve been fortunate enough to find mine, but it was a curvy road- not a straight path!
At the risk of sounding WAY “out there” (I’m not, I promise!), I have to say: I’m someone who believes in connection. I think there’s a reason for what happens in every single moment of every day. (I think there?s a reason you?re reading this right now.) I also think if you stripped down the diversions in your life, you would discover that every person was born with specific talents to contribute to the world. I feel these talents are what connect us together to create an interdependent society that can sustain itself. The problem with this potential for utopia seems to be the “distractions” we encounter along the way…
What are the distractions that prevent us from finding our true calling? They are varied and numerous!
Money is a huge distraction. It’s a necessity, of course, but it can also be a destiny-blocker.
I had a cushy corporate job, but I was using about 5% of my true talent and I was successfully “faking” the other 95%. After a few years of this, I hit the proverbial rock-bottom. There came a day when I said (out loud): “I would rather sell our house and everything I have than do this another day.”
I quit my job the next day and began designing full-time… I didn’t have to sell off everything in the end- but I was willing.
Are you there yet? Are you willing to sacrifice some things of comfort to do what you love? Will you put your life in a state of upheaval to fight for this dream? If you can answer “yes” to these, then you’ve already found your true calling. That dream that you’d fight for is your gift and your calling- do it!
Another distraction on your road to “you” could be your parents and friends’ thoughts about who you should be. Although other people’s input can open your eyes to facets of yourself that you may never have considered, their input could also be leading you down THEIR path- not yours.
If you take nothing else away from what I’m writing here, take this: Stop asking for permission to be who you are! Do not allow others to tell you that you can’t do something or can’t succeed. Also, do not allow yourSELF to tell you this, either!
See, my big barrier was myself. I thought I had to go back to college to get a design degree to do what I loved. I was SO wrong.
The truth is, if your dream is to be a decorator you don’t need a degree or certification for this career. You do need innate talent and business skills… both of which came from my parents, not the university. If I would have waited for the university to tell me that I was an “official” decorator, I’d still be there now! (Don’t confuse interior decorating with interior design, which does require a degree for certification.) Stop waiting for outside verification of your abilities and start refining them and sharing them now!
Another way to remove the barriers to finding your path is to erase the outside influences for a while and be QUIET with yourself. Turn off the TV and computer for a week and sit. Your mind will eventually lead you to what you are most interested in when it is stripped of superficial guidance.
Write down what you start thinking about or what you start doing during this time… you will be able to make the connections when you re-visit this journal later. This is a wonderful exercise to find your natural interests and talents!
On the opposite end of the exercise above is the distraction of looking too hard. This one is easy. It’s the same story you hear about people who are looking for their soulmate: The minute they stop trying so hard, it happens!
If you are frustrating yourself in your quest for your destiny, you won’t be in the right state of mind to see your little opportunities and “signs” along the way. Look for your calling, but don’t obsess over it.
Along those lines, don’t dismiss the people and things you are experiencing before your big “life epiphany”. Everyone you are coming in contact with now is a piece of your puzzle. I can’t count how many people that were put in my path before my career change that were somehow a part of my success afterwards. Remember… a completed puzzle is made up of many tiny pieces. Your “pieces” are the moments you are living right NOW.
Speaking of life’s “moments”… I mentioned above that I never had to sell off things to sustain myself after I began designing full-time. How did I do that? I didn’t plan it on a spreadsheet, create a sales forecast, or do a powerpoint. So why was I able to be successful on my own, without the corporate check?
The answer is: I have no idea! What I DO know is that after I began practicing my true talents and sharing the gift of decorating with others through my business, my life took on an inertia that wasn’t there before.
I became opportunistic of every moment and recognized there were chances for success in each one. I treated each moment and each person as if they would make or break me. That’s when the business grew FAST- like “magic”.
This is described by athletes as “flow” or “being in the zone”. I believe it to be God’s affirmation that you are doing what you were born to do. Doors will open for you, “coincidences” will occur frequently, opportunities will come your way, and authentic success is yours.
Authentic success should always be your goal in finding your calling. This isn’t necessarily monetary success. It’s REAL satisfaction with your work, your contribution to others, and your “self”. It makes you feel like the best version of who you are- right now, in THIS moment.
You only have THIS moment, so authentic success is never absolute. There are other moments to come, and more ways to learn, grow and give along the way.
That’s the beauty of finding your life’s path- it’s a PATH, not a destination. The creation of yourself never ends, so get yourself on your path and begin enjoying the magic along the way! :)
April 20th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Not only is the topic fascinating – esp presented from your perspective, Holly – but the discussion and input from the comments are truly helpful and inspiration for others trying to forge a more creative PATH. Thanks!
June 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Wow, just wow.
I came here because I typed “I don’t know what to do with my life” in Google. :)
I so resonate with many of the comments here. On one side I am happy I realize I’m not alone, on the other hand I’m still stuck.
I want to follow my creativity but I am just stuck and fearful of quitting my job. It makes a huge part of our budget. I dream of my husband getting a dream job (meaning lots $$$) so I can pursue my dreams… But I know I shouldn’t wait until then. I need to do something NOW.
Thanks so much to Holly and all comments! It’s truly inspiring.