Men and Doctors. What is it? I love my husband and look to him as being the most confident, mature, and strong man alive. This guy is amazing, it’s German engineering combined with urban street smarts I assume, and the fact that he’s lived in a few countries seems to have helped. But why is it that the moment a guy has to go see a medical professional – doctor, dentist, etc., they suddenly revert back to being little boys?

I by no means want to convey that my husband is a baby or wimp, but when it comes to doctor’s appointments well… He likes me to accompany him, wait in the lobby, and shower him with lots of hand holding and kisses because it makes him feel better. It’s really cute and makes me love him so much more.

So that’s where I’ve been today in case you’ve missed me. He had a lunch appointment to have a simple filling repaired which turned into this complicated procedure costing nearly $2,000-, a crown, and 5 hours. But you know what I did for those 5 hours? I sat in the waiting room watching HGTV and thought about very little, on purpose. I took some time to pause, shut off my cell and just sat there. And it was very nice.

The moment my husband emerged after a few hours for a ‘break’ while the crown was being made, he laid eyes on me and this adorable smile crossed his face and he walked over and kissed me right in front of everyone.

There he sat, next to me in the waiting room for another hour until the crown was finished and, holding my hand firmly, said nothing. I could tell he was in pain. We just sat there staring at the massive flat screen watching some curb appeal show and I swear, he hasn’t held my hand that hard since his last doctor’s visit. He was genuinely frightened. It meant something that I stayed in the building and didn’t run off shopping or chatting on my cell doing business. He appreciated that.

Some women complain about their husbands’ fear of the doctor but you know what? Another way to look at it is that it’s a nice time to demonstrate that you genuinely care. It’s a really beautiful experience to be there for someone when they are at their most vulnerable, when they feel down for the count, and whether it’s a toothache or surgery, the love and sacrifice we give to our partners matters to them. Sometimes I think something as simple as a dental visit can be a reminder of how human we are and that we all want the same things… Love, trust, loyalty, and a friend who is there in both the good and bad times. All we really want is someone who genuinely cares about us and I mean genuinely.

I know this story had nothing to do with design, but it has a lot to do with something else I love – my leading man. I hope you understand that today I needed to pause a moment for his sake. I’m all yours tomorrow though, so see you then friends. :)

-Holly

27 Responses to “While I Was Out…”

1 Ez commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:55 am

What a heartwarming story Holly! I’m so sorry that your sweetie had to go through such an ordeal, but you’re right… he was lucky to have you by his side!
I also really appreciate your reminder to find perspective in a situation that could have otherwise been overwhelming or frustrating. It is easy at times to forget to just slow down along the way… that “life is about the journey, not the destination.”

Hope you both have a lovely restful evening together. Feel well soon Thorsten!

xox
Ez
2 All Things Bright and Beautiful... commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:23 am

Oh holly – I have little tears in my eyes – lads, don’t you love them :-)

Hugs bug and hope hubbie is feeling better

FelicityXOX
3 Alison Gibbs commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:29 am

Holly that is so sweet. Great that he knows you are there for him ‘when he’s scared’- even though he doesn’t say it, you know it.
Alison
4 My Life With Fibro commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:54 am

I appreciate this departure from your normal topics.

As a person who struggles with chronic illness, I prefer to take my husband or one of my parents with me to each appointment. I am always a bit uncomfortable asking them to give of their time, but I have found that by sharing one of my most difficult times with them we grow closer. I am strengthened by their willingness and motivated by their patience.

Thank you for sharing this lovely bit of your life. It was comforting to read your post and be reminded how my loved ones likely feel when they accompany me to one of my many appointments.
5 Gina commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:53 am

Yay for you both! What a wonderful love story. Thanks for sharing.
6 Wendy commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:16 am

What a beautiful post. Inspiring in a different way.
7 Anonymous commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:05 am

Hi Holly,
Thanks for sharing this story. This truly makes reading this site (daily) all the more enjoyable for me as it shows your true compassion, joy, and love in all that surrounds you.
8 cloudy commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:26 am

awwww…what a cute story! such a heartwarming reminder! :)
9 Rachel commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am

i totally concur with anonymous above-that departure from normal design topics, where you share little bits about your life, your thoughts and feelings…that’s what makes your blog so awesome. it keeps me coming back, week after week, to check in on design, and catch a glimpse of what’s going on in your life too. thanks for sharing!
10 Kelly commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm

How sweet and kind of you, Holly! You’re right that it is a chance to show your partner you truly care. It’s nice to see another person so in love!
11 Anonymous commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm

Hi Holly,

I appreciated this “dental post” as it demonstrates the need to live our lives in the moment. What a touching tribute to your marriage! And it says a lot about you as a kind and sensitive soul – something that truly comes across in all your posts. It’s the reason I keep checking in to listen to your design advice that always hits home on a deeper level. Thanks for being the kind of person we all aspire to be. Real.

Linda
12 Michaele commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Thanks for sharing Holly- yep, our “big boys” go through a difficult time when they’re put in a scary situation- worried because they feel weak, worried because they think they APPEAR weak…

My husband and I experienced a similar doctor’s visit two weeks ago though I took my crocheting with me, and his procedure involved some potentially upsetting words: polyps and biopsies (plural on both counts). No cell phone, lots of yarn, a sturdy hook, kind nurses and doctors, and at least for my husband, a day an a half’s worth of bed rest.

My husband is quiet when he’s in pain, but joking and overly-jovial when he’s scared. He had his doctor and nurse laughing as they went into surgery, and smiling reassuringly as they wheeled him into recovery.

So far, good news! Nothing’s wrong. And one of my friends will enjoy a brand spankin’ new baby afghan very soon. Sure wish the waiting room staff would have let us watch Home and Garden TV instead of CNN the whole time…
13 SuzyQ commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm

I like to read a few personal stories on blogs like this – it makes the person behind the blog more real. :) Hope your husband feels better!
14 Megan Gregory commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Love the post – my hubby is the same way. But you know what I just got paid back that and then some with him coming to a big appointment with me. I am due this Sunday with our 1st baby and was keyed up about how far I had progressed and what next steps would be, etc… And he offered to come along and was just the biggest support ever. We love our doc and my hubby just supported my wishes with the doc and I’m due to have my baby girl next Tuesday if she hasn’t arrived before then but mostly the day was wonderful as he took the time off just for me and was there for me. So kudos to you for doing that for your hubby – it’s nice to know we are loved!

By the way I found your blog from a comment on mine by John from OrganizingLA Blog – loved your interview and site. Just added you to my blogroll. Keep up the enjoyable blog!

Megan Gregory
http://tampabayhousemd.com
15 em commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm

cheers for that sweet reminder, holly! my hubby is the same way.

happy almost weekend!

em in NC
16 littlemithi commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:06 pm

You are so absolutely wonderful :)
17 Rachel commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:15 pm

That is very very cute. So happy for you two to be realizing your dream of owning a house in 2 countries… best of luck with the decorating in Germany!

Rachel
18 adesignaffair commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:37 pm

Such nice sentiments. Sometimes we need a reminder to just stop and listen, or in this case sit and be there. Thank you for sharing with all of us.
19 Marisa and Creative Thursday commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 pm

No better reason to pause. Hello to you and Thorsten and I hope he’s feeling better.
20 boltandfrolic commented:
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:15 pm

You two are fortunate to have each other’s love and companionship. Thank you for sharing this sweet and tender time; I hope he feels better soon.
Elle
21 Peggy commented:
May 4th, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Holly, thank you for this lovely post. I was touched by the tenderness of it. I am always inspired by your blog.
22 Anonymous commented:
May 5th, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Love your blog. Here’s the difference between you and me — my husband is the same way, but I would have been supportive of him at the dental office, then blogged about how damned annoying it is that he can’t deal with little trials of life.
23 decor8 commented:
May 5th, 2008 at 4:54 pm

ha ha Anon, yes I guess we are very different!
24 Anonymous commented:
May 5th, 2008 at 6:45 pm

Yup. Apparently, I am much bitchier ;)
25 Jamie Watson commented:
May 6th, 2008 at 12:30 am

I am so touched by what you wrote about being there for the one you love when they are hurt and vulnerable. A heartfelt thank you for spreading that goodness to the world. (I’m a new reader). Cheers!
26 Trina commented:
May 7th, 2008 at 4:02 am

Thanks you for such a wonderful sweet post. When he came out and kissed you, the way you hold his hand and shower him with kisses and love… it’s just so lovely! It’s so nice to hear people talk of their spouses with such love and affection. :)
27 minxlj commented:
May 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

I just read your story of how you two met (on your Flickr profile) – that is so romantic :-) You’re obviously perfect for each other and the fact that you take time out to write about taking time out for him shows just how much you love him.

I met my ex-fiance online, and although it didn’t work out in the long run, we spent 7 years together – and I too had the ‘don’t meet anyone online, he’s a serial killer’ warning! LOL. But stories like yours lift my heart, I know there are more romantic stories out there just waiting to be written.

Congratulations you two :-) And I hope your hubby is feeling better now

When you comment…

Please feel free to comment, whether you agree with the opinions found on this blog or not, your voice is important to other readers who share this space. Constructive criticism can be useful if left in a tone meant to help and not to shock or overly offend. However decor8 reserves the right to delete any comment that is abusive, profane, rude, or considered spam.

Comments are the sole responsibility of their authors. decor8 is not responsible, nor will be held liable, for blog comments. For more, please read the full disclaimer.