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You Are Loved

February 14, 2013

Today is Valentine’s Day but for many, it’s not a day of love and happiness but a total drag. I was never a fan of V day for this reason – it simply isn’t fair to those who haven’t found their valentine (yet). And big deal if you have a true love in your life or not, right? Having someone on your arm doesn’t define who YOU are. For this reason, I want to dedicate this post to all of my readers – those who have a valentine today and those who are simply thinking, “I really need a lot of cocktails to get through this”. I want to let you know that you are loved SO MUCH. Someone out there, if not many someones, love you loads and loads appreciate having you in their life. Like me.

You Are Loved

I have some friends going through some pretty rough divorces currently and today isn’t their favorite holiday and some of them are going out and partying with their girlfriends (YES! Do it!) and others are simply at home feeling like something is wrong with them because they lost their marriage. Don’t assume that everyone partnered is getting roses and chocolates and having hot sex tonight. Honestly, I’m married and I’m cooking lasagna and having over my  mother-in-law and her 60+ year old friends over for dinner and a piano concert afterwards. Nothing hot or Fifty Shades about that.

So anyway, a big hug to ALL OF YOU. You rock. You are loved. And I’ll see you tomorrow for some lovely posts and some really good news too!

xo

Holly

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71 Comments

  • Reply Gosia February 14, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    For me this day is not about boyfriends/girlfriends, hot dates, sex and roses. It’s a day of one of our (catholics’) Saints. For others it’s more about romance etc. Maybe this day should be perceived in more dimentional way? Any way, one way or the other, it’s certainly about you did: taking care of others! Happy Today, Holly!

  • Reply ShellHawk February 14, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    Nice post. I have a friend going through a rough divorce, too, so I’ll definitely pass this on!

  • Reply Janelle @ Two Cups of Happy February 14, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    I think the day is about LOVE of all kinds, not only romantic love. My co-workers, family & friends all get special texts, calls & treats today because they are special to me. I’ve never associated V-Day with dirty deeds and flowers either, so that helps. Haha.

  • Reply Haikje February 14, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Well Holly that makes me very curious… I am sure to check in tomorrow to read your really good news! For now: have a lovely evening.

  • Reply Giò February 14, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    Hi Holly, happy valentine’s day to you and your readers. I think the same: today is the day of love and I love my parents, my friends, my boyfriens and I like to give them my attentions and my heart.
    xoxo

  • Reply Silky Hart February 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    Perfect post for today!!! I didn’t marry until “late” in life and was single on many Valentine’s Day so I can totally relate. So important that we fall in love with ourselves first and to remember that we are loved! xo

  • Reply Chloe Moon February 14, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    Happy Valentine’s Day!! What a lovely print and awesome reminder!

  • Reply Liz February 14, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    Thank you so much for this post, Holly. I really needed it. I am married but definitely not having a romantic day. My husband has yet to even wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m sure I won’t get anything or do anything special (he never makes reservations – we have 3 kids) but this shouldn’t stop me from feeling the love from everyone else in my life. Heck – I may even have a secret admirer that unknowingly sends me love everyday! Thanks for being such a beautiful light in a world sometimes shrouded in darkness. YOU are VERY loved! xxoo

  • Reply Raquel February 14, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    Thanks for writing this post. I’m one of the ones who hasn’t found her valentine yet so this felt like a well-timed hug.

  • Reply Katie February 14, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    Thank you Holly for such an awesome post. I am going through a divorce right now, and I have been dreading today for weeks. It seems like everywhere I look Valentines Day is everywhere. Its not so much the idea that everyone is going to have hot dates tonight as much as the fact that I am reminded that for the first time in 10 years I am not with my husband. Your words are very encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear this morning. There is something very important to be said about loving yourself and realizing that there are so many people in our lives who love us. Loving ourselves is the most important kind of love, so I intend on doing my best to celebrate that today.

  • Reply Tanya February 14, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Ive been married for six years and tonight we are ordering one the those heart shaped pizzas and having dinner with our kid :) simple but valentines themed. Nothing too special but still sweet to spend time with our child.

  • Reply Audrey February 14, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    Thanks for this post. I’m going through a divorce and am actually having a pretty great day celebrating those friends and family that have rallied around me, but I know this is a hard day for a lot of people. Thanks for recognizing those of us who aren’t out on dates– I promise to make it a good day :) Happy V Day to you too!

  • Reply Rozie February 14, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    This is a really sweet and thoughtful post. Thank you!

  • Reply Gabriela February 14, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    Hello Holly,

    I totally agree with you on this post. You said it just the way it is.

    Have a wonderful day!

    Gabriela

  • Reply Marianne February 14, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    To me V-day is not just about the love for my love ;-) It is about the love I feel for my family and friends as well.
    You made me curious about the good news. Will check back tomorrow!
    Have a nice evening!

  • Reply Tania February 14, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    Hi Holly.
    For me VDay has moved from the soppiness of staring into another’s eyes over an over priced dinner. As a celebration of love we need to concede that true love is often a selfless act. Selfless is saying no to the self and that can hurt. True love gets real and has their mom-in-law AND her 60+ friends over for supper. The love offered by a bunch of red roses most often leaves one feeling empty and somehow unsettled. I am a fan of Valentines Day and the chocolates and the flowers only when the love is spread a little beyond ourselves. Thanks for a lovely blog.
    Warmest
    Tania

  • Reply Pamela Grimaud February 14, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    Thanks – I needed that! Happy Valentine’s to you, too!

    Pamela

    p.s. Website listed above is a work in progress – not ready for primetime, but am (right now) working on it!

  • Reply Julie the juAlkaline Sister February 14, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    Happy Valentines Day Holly! Nice of you to share your luv with those that may not have a sweet heart! I always think of Valentines as a day to share your love with anyone you luv from your kids, to your family and your friends, not just your one and only. I often do a red themed supper and invite friends and family to celebrate. It’s also a fun & festive way to beat the mid February blues. Have a splendid day:)

  • Reply Giulia February 14, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    Holly, it’s not just about being with someone and definitely not about someone defining who you are.
    I found these two posts I read today really great and you might enjoy the other point of view as well. Everybody has love in their life.
    http://www.classic-play.com/parenting-its-about-love/
    http://squirrellyminds.com/?p=5837

  • Reply Holly February 14, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    Holly, this is just what I needed today. Thank you.

  • Reply Sarah February 14, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    You rock too, Holly!!!

  • Reply Casey February 14, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Holly and thanks for the sweet post. I don’t have a lovey-dovey valentine this year, but I’ll be spending the evening after work painting my living room, because I love myself and deserve to have a beautiful space! :)

  • Reply Bettina February 14, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    I do agree with you. I think on Valentine’s day is a chance to think oft all those beloved friends who make our every-day life much more agreeable and valuable.
    Greetings Bettina

  • Reply Katja February 14, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    Once more, you are right. Couldn’t agree more with you. Love ( in all shapes) should be celebrated everyday.

  • Reply Kristin Johnsen February 14, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Nice post, Holly! Yes, if you really have the right person in your life, you don’t need a DAY to celebrate – as long as you pay attention to the little things everyday. And so much PRESSURE on everyone if you DON’t currently have the right person in your life! Love how you are spending your day – my hubby and I are going to our favorite little hamburger joint – because that is us! Take care and enjoy the day everyone!

  • Reply Sheila Hallmark February 14, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I follow aLOT of design blogs. What a nice and surprising post. Totally agree with your sentiment. Wish I could have met my MIL. Happy V-Day to you.

  • Reply Heathe February 14, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    I’ll keep your friends in my thoughts. Tell them a random person on the internet wishes them the best of luck! Have a great V-Day with the in-laws!

  • Reply Thuau February 14, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    Thanks a lot….instead of you, I redound a little smile…
    Xoxo
    Edith

  • Reply Tracy February 14, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    How really, really lovely and so true! My husband and I have been married for nearly 24 years, and while we’re grateful for each other, we kinda feel that Valentine’s is a forced holiday to benefit retailers. Builds too much anticipation and often, consequently, disappointment. I hear of lots of groups of girls getting together for a “Gal-entine’s” celebration and think it’s a terrific idea! I say love all the great people in your life every day without pressure to feel like you have to have a romantic partner. To enjoy life, it’s not necessary!

  • Reply Dee February 14, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    I expressed a similar notion in my blog Holly …

    http://deeatthecarlton.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/true-love-is-not-just-one-day.html

    I think love is too important to be left to just Valentine’s day – it is too easy to confuse the overt display with love & as you say, many are not able to celebrate & so it is a trying time.

    I prefer to be thankful for the love when it is just done out of love …

    Dee at the Carlton

  • Reply Viviane February 14, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    Dear Holly,

    brilliant, your post – completely agree!

    Wish you a happy day with your family + friends,

    Viviane

  • Reply Tazim @BeingTazim.com February 14, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    This is the sweetest sentiment. I am single, so I’ll be at home enjoying my evening, as usual. I know that a lot of singles in the city will be getting together for singles’ night or getting together with their girlfriends. I am happy to be home alone doing the things that I love doing, and concentrating on making myself feel loved (by me).

  • Reply Sue February 14, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    My husband and I really don’t celebrate valentines day, we just know that we belong together, a kiss is totally enough for the day. I hope your night was super fun with your Mother in law and friends…………that’s REALLY showing your man how much you care!!

  • Reply Sarah February 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    Amen! Thanks for your wonderful so very truthful thoughts Holly!! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • Reply Marcela February 14, 2013 at 10:39 pm

    Great post. I’m not big on Valentine’s either. When I was single, we used to get together with my best friend, cook a nice meal and watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended edition. It was awesome and something we looked forward to every year (also, ah how wonderful to have 9 free hours to watch all those movies in a row!)

  • Reply EffieX February 14, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Thank you for your post today!
    I am alone today,as I have been on many other Valentine’s Days past.
    I know I am loved by many, and love many in return but sometimes the stereotypical images of everyone getting ‘hearts and flowers’ but me on this day is sometimes hard to take!
    Luckily, today is also a beloved relative’s birthday,so I think of it as her day rather than Valentine’s day, and that makes me happy!

    Happy Valentine’s day!

  • Reply Tami February 14, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    Sounds about as wild as our night. Take-out Chinese with my husband and six year old son, eating in front of Tivo’ed American Idol. Woohoo!

  • Reply Martine February 14, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    This is a good story and so true. For some people today isn’t such a nice one. And what do you think of all that teens who are uncertain and hoping…
    Have a nice evening and weekend.

  • Reply gillian February 15, 2013 at 12:04 am

    My daughter, my friend and I went to Bingo (didn’t win) and had a great time. lol

  • Reply lisa :: the red thread February 15, 2013 at 2:44 am

    Holly you are so sweet! What a lovely post.

    In the past V Day hasn’t been quite such a huge day here in Australia, in fact I don’t think we’d heard of it when I was a child. But in recent years it has become more and more of a ‘thing’ here, although still not to the same extent as in the US. While I think it’s wonderful to celebrate love in all it’s forms, I hate that it’s so commercialised and can be a day of sadness to some. That’s why your simple message of “You are loved” is so perfect.

    I separated from my husband two and a half years ago after being married for 13 years, and together beforehand even longer (I was a teenager when we met) – and honestly I LOVE being single. Valentine’s day was a non event for me… exactly the way I like it now!

  • Reply Jeanne February 15, 2013 at 5:06 am

    Ha –
    You are SOOOO right! I didn’t get roses or anything I blogged about on my list of things I wanted for Valentine’s Day a couple of weeks back. BUT….he did the dishes for me, got the kids ready for school, dealt with my unruly teenager. And I would take that ANY day over some flowers or piece of jewelry. Now for that last thing on the list…..we’ll see later on tonight!

  • Reply Punctuation Mark February 15, 2013 at 7:22 am

    This is lovely and much appreciated by us your readers… Happy Valentines!!!

  • Reply Laurence W February 15, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Nice post!

  • Reply Katerina Thomas February 15, 2013 at 11:07 am

    Great post – it’s all a big money maker, Well done for saying what most of us feel!

  • Reply Janine February 15, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Thank you Holly for this post. Being single this is a dreaded day for me although i know that there are people in my life who love me. It’s good to know that i’m not the only one who doesn’t like this Day so much and there are other, better and non-organized occasions to tell somebody that you love them.

  • Reply Brittni February 15, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    I love this post Holly and I couldn’t agree more.

  • Reply Anne February 15, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    Wow. Great post, Holly! Thank you!

  • Reply Sally Weiler February 15, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    I spent valentines working, picked up kids after school and played a great game of scrabble. I love my kids so they came first. Your right, valentines doesn’t always mean a hot date or hot evening with the husband. We need to show love all year to those closest to us. It’s not just one day it’s everyday.

  • Reply anastasia February 15, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    I think love should be expressed everyday…When i was single Id always make the effort to go out with girlfriends and friends on Valentines Day and it was always a fun night out – why should we let this day make us feel like being single so negative?
    Now that Im married we dont really celebrate on Valentines Day – I always write my hubby a note and he always gets me flowers but we tend to do that other times too…

  • Reply Michele February 15, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    Ha! Thanks for the giggle!

    I love Valentine’s Day….even when I’m single. My mom always made it special and I cherish those memories and try to do small things for friends to make it fun. But Gal-entine’s Day is a great idea!

  • Reply Olivia February 16, 2013 at 2:20 am

    Hi Holly, Thanks for the post!

  • Reply Sonda February 16, 2013 at 2:46 am

    I like your post! :) Do you know where I could find the print in your photo of “You Are Loved”? Thanks!

  • Reply merilyn February 16, 2013 at 10:35 am

    I like your kind and caring attitude about valentine’s day and also I loved your gesture about “have you hugged a blogger today?” … just lovely! very humanitarian and all encompassing that’s why I like to visit your blog. thankyou Holly… cheers :) m

  • Reply Inge February 16, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Well said Holly! I don’t associate V day with hot sex and flowers and chocolates, but it is nice to do something nice or send a note to the ones who need some extra love and attention that day, like your close friends, or people who are going through some rough periods… I even sent a card with “hugs and love to you” a few days before V day who just went through chemo therapy for her breast cancer. Just to let her know she’s not alone and that I’m thinking about her.
    It is not just one day, you need to show your love all year around to everyone (which I tend to forget sometimes). :-)

  • Reply thatsmyfullname February 17, 2013 at 9:34 am

    I’ve always dreaded Valentine’s Day, and this year I wrote about what’s it like to be surrounded by a world engrossed with it (link below). I met up with friends I had not seen in two years (one was back for a visit from the States – I live in Malaysia) and after a catch up over dinner in the food court of a swanky mall, we checked out the Chinese New Year decorations and took some pictures. So I didn’t hibernate this year to escape from V-Day.

    On a different note, a female colleague posted a picture of a cute cake with a Yoda on it. A male colleague’s girlfriend sent it to him in the office. Interestingly, in that female-dominated department, he was the only one to receive a Valentine’s Day gift at the office. Hmm… food for thought.

    It was quiet in my department because many were still away for the long Chinese New Year break, so there was no embarrassment of being surrounded by flowers on other people’s desks.

  • Reply Jay February 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Hey Holly! I really enjoyed that article, really made me think! I am loved…

  • Reply Molly {Dreams in HD} February 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    well said holly :)

  • Reply Shay February 18, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    I hope you had a lovely Valentine’s Day. I’m having a few problems myself but I don’t like to think of Valentine’s Day as a special day. Every day should be!

  • Reply Michaele Sommerville February 18, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Seventeen years of teaching kindergartners, and I have to say that Valentine’s Day has been one of my favorite holidays, as it is theirs. Of course in school we talk about all kinds of love: the love of parents, family, pets, friends, and hobbies, and roses rarely, if ever, are included. As we anticipate the end of winter, it’s the first time we dare to wear a pastel pink, though we we save the rest for Easter.

    As crushing as the end (or lack) of an intimate and nurturing relationship is, there is affirmation to be felt in other kinds of love. I wish the holiday would include the expression of those as well.

    Michaele

  • Reply Rosa Paula February 18, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    That’s all so lovely! Thanks for this reminder! YOU are loved too!

  • Reply R. Joyce February 18, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    Aww this is super sweet. I don’t celebrate Valentines Day because I mostly see people feeling bad about not having someone. Love should be expressed daily.

  • Reply Anna February 19, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    My mother in law came to stay too :) we did bake valentines day muffins with the kids though. :) And my dad left my mum on Valentine’s Day officially this year :( so you are right…its nice to say you have someone special in your life, but it is even a MORE special thing to say you have lots of friends and family telling you , that you are loved. X

  • Reply Althea Young February 20, 2013 at 3:52 am

    I celebrated a warm Valentine’s date with my mom.
    We cooked our favorite seafood recipes and I gave her a vintage key she loved from etsy.
    It was one of the best-est Vday

  • Reply Les Fabuleux Deux February 20, 2013 at 8:59 am

    Lovely!

  • Reply Stefanie February 20, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    I was reminded of Valentine’s Day the cruel way: I had arranged to go out for dinner with some friends and we could simply not make any table reservation :o( – no space it seems for anyone else but happy couples…

  • Reply Elena February 20, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    Great post!!!
    God loves us and all nature and planet earth and many others!!!
    Hugs and Love to all!

  • Reply Eva Ricci February 20, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    This is one of the sweetest Valentine posts ever Holly. XO

  • Reply Laura M. February 20, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    L-o-v-e this post! I have some amazing girlfriends that get so down because they haven’t found “the one” yet. Sometimes its other friends and families that make them feel like they aren’t good enough because they aren’t married and dont have children.

  • Reply Laura Gaskill February 20, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    Oh Holly, what a sweet post! It’s funny, I really still associate Valentine’s Day with my Grandpa rather than romantic dates. When I was a girl and my parents had recently divorced, my Grandpa started a tradition — he would come over to our house really early in the morning on Valentine’s Day and sneak in before my Mom and I woke up, and leave us cards, balloons, candy, and raspberry pastries for our breakfast. It was the BEST. We always felt so loved…really even more so than on any Valentine’s Day date! xo Laura

  • Reply Lili February 21, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    @Laura Gaskill:
    Laura, that’s so sweet! Beautiful thing to read. Your grandparent looks like a great gentleman!

  • Reply Maria G. February 22, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    I don’t think celebrating Valentine’s Day is unfair. I just don’t really feel it’s necessary. But those who have partners should not be deprived of celebrating. However, love is not just about V-day. Showing love to your partner, giving roses, chocolates, etc. should not only be a V-day thing. It should for any other day too. And, there are other more important ways to show love rather than hot sex, chocolates and roses and these ways cannot be bought by money.

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