From The Heart

Let Us Stay Optimistic

July 19, 2016

Hi friends, sorry I’ve been missing from the blog but I’ve been co-teaching our Instagram, Photography and Styling e-course for Blogging Your Way… I’ve not had much extra head space to think about writing here. This week, another teacher leads our classes for the week and I’m off the hook, so I feel like my head is above water so no more absence from me here! And you know, once my little boy is in school, it will be a manageable again to maintain my blog (and everything else) in addition to e-courses, but right now he is home full-time so it’s a bit of a struggle!

Let Us Stay Optimistic

How are you doing? I’m good, just not so happy with the news lately. It’s draining to wake up to so much hate and anger on the news, isn’t it? When I text my friend after the Nice attack to see if he was okay (he is living in London but is French and so there is always a concern he may be visiting relatives in France) he helped me to regain some perspective. I asked him if he was okay and he said yes, he was in another town celebrating Bastille Day, but not Nice. And then I told him that I thought the attack was horrible and sad and I started to complain a little and he simply said,

“Let us stay optimistic. And enjoy an even better life!”

Maybe when you read that, you can let it sink in a bit.

At first I thought he seemed so incredibly naive! Almost a bit selfish! But then I realized that it’s exactly as we should be living, when bad things happen and we were spared, we should consider ourselves to almost have a right to live an even better life because we are still alive. Why should we live in fear, sadness, in an eternal mourning?

One thing the news and internet does is that it stresses us all the F–k out. Of course we hate what’s happening globally in politics, gun violence, terrorism, etc. Naturally. And Donald Trump. Oh boy, it’s scary as hell.  And to hear about it all day, every day, plus everything else, well it’s stressful. And then there is me, living in northern Germany as an American. So I have equal parts concern over what is happening in Europe and the UK AND in America. Because my family and life is in both. So what happens in America bothers me as much as what happens in Turkey, or in France, which is right over the border, Brexit, etc. It’s kinda overwhelmed me lately.

Yet I almost think that the negative forces at work in the world – the many ugly people out there behind all of this sickness and sorrow – are winning BIG TIME when we pay them so much credit for ruining our day, our week, or more: Drying up our spirit of hope. And once we lose hope …. Well, one word for ya.

SCREWED.

We are screwed.

In my perspective, my French friend has the right attitude. Sure, you mourn a loss but you have to put everything in perspective. I cried when I thought about the children who were killed in Nice or those who are left without parents and had to see a truck plowing over their family. How can you not feel terrible? Yet, you still have your life to manage and deal with, and that has to come before everything else. Our families need us to be strong, proactive and positive. If we want to fight against something we see as injustice, then take up a stand and actively go out and fight for the rights of the group you want to stand behind. Or put your money into some cause. But complaining endlessly, moping around, saying the world is going to hell… I think it’s only going to make everyone’s life even less meaningful if we collectively turn into one big depressed lump online. Instead of choosing a victims standpoint, let us stand strong as a victor, united in our belief that things will get better. They always get worse before they get better, right? So maybe that can be the candle, the carrot, the hope that we chase… That better days are ahead.

While I support fully acknowledging loss and suffering, I also support even more fully to live better, do better and to lead by example so others can rise up stronger too. Negativity breeds negatively. Let us spread light, love and promote peace.

I’ve decided to stay optimistic and maintain hope. I hope you will to.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? HOW ARE YOU COPING?

(Photographer: Copyright Debi Treloar)






12 Comments

  • Reply Home Love Queen July 19, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Such awful things going on in the world. I definitely think we need to fight all of the hate with love and optimism and hope against all hope that one day we will live in a much more peaceful world!

  • Reply Fash 'n' fudge July 19, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    Beautifully written article! I l think we should focus on the positive and spread as much love as we can!

  • Reply Erin Wilson July 19, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Agreed. I live in Iraq, and work for an organization that has been providing food and water to folks who fled Fallujah, small business grants to displaced families who need to get back on their feet, and heart surgeries for little kids who would die without.

    Truly, from my heart, I want you to know that if you live in a safe place, in a place with opportunity, and you don’t take full advantage of it…wring ever bit of joy from it…then what’s the point?

  • Reply Kim B. July 19, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    Holly – I think about this too. This crazy nut who was just a nut in Nice, a real jerk of a guy — he’s unhinged so decides to do something awful and dramatic and so OF COURSE Daesh claims credit for it . . . and then we give them all this attention, and they’ve won again. (I mean, of course you have to give them that attention, because there are 84 souls lost, some families lost multiple members), but can’t we just think this was a nutso guy who found a cause to lay his violence on rather than thinking OOH this big bad Daesh/ISIL is everywhere?? Ok I’m probably being naive myself. Living in France, and being an expat American like you, I too am in profoundly despair for my home country and my adopted country. What can we DO to get EVERYONE to focus on the positive — then again there are families that are hurting so much.

    Thank you for your thoughtful words. I don’t have any answers, only not-well-formed thoughts.

  • Reply mel July 20, 2016 at 1:26 am

    I’m glad you wrote this Holly and I totally agree with you and your friend. When I read about Nice, I felt dreadful. I suffered an almost anxiety attack imagining what these people went through, saw happen to their loved ones, oh god and their children. Even now writing those words I feel it coming back again. It’s that relating it to your situation… I thought about it some and made a promise that I’d try to treat it a little differently. I want to focus and imagine the world that I want, almost meditate on the love that this world has… I believe and hope that if we all visualise this world instead of giving attention to what we don’t want, what we’re scared of, then this world will eventuate. Fear, fighting amongst ourselves for screwed up solutions, hatred and xenophobia is exactly what these sickos want. Instead, I’m putting much more love out there to the universe. Mel xx

  • Reply Renata July 20, 2016 at 3:23 am

    I too have had a really hard time digesting the news in the past few weeks (months?) To the point where my little boy looked at me the day after Nice and said to me out of nowhere “Mommy, why do you look so… disappointed?”. He is 5. I didn’t know he could tell.
    I think being a parent makes you that much more exposed to suffering because you always see your own kids in someone else’s child. And just imagining the pain for a second is absolutely unbearable.
    But parenthood also brings the gift of forgiveness, I think. In the sense that I think that sort of evil can only come from a childhood that had no love. How can somebody with a loving parent or caretaker and a happy childhood carry so much hate and inflict so much pain? It makes me feel sorry for the child that died inside those people.
    And all I can do is think that after this day I will love the crap out of my loved ones, forgive the random acts of rudeness in others and try to be as kind as I can to everyone I meet. Because we know the only thing there is too much of in this life is hate.

  • Reply Limor July 20, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    Try living in Israel, what you have been coping with for the past months is the normal life we are used to here for as long as I can remember and Iive in Tel Aviv. center of yhe scene… People around me are happy and cheerful and very much alive because you cant, we wont, let anyone take over your life, its impossible to live in constant fear. Its an attitude towards life, and an approach I suggest you grab with both hands :)
    There is hope, and life is great, and in this rolleta of life -one can hope to live through it in joy.Live it and be happy for whatever it takes (and stop looking at the news..;)

    Limor

  • Reply nathan will July 20, 2016 at 11:21 pm

    Awesome post! Great read. But, the most important thing that came to mind is… where did you get that bag???

  • Reply Cyndi July 20, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    What a thoughtful perspective. I’m going to follow this creed. Thanks for the post – many of us need a boost of positive thinking right now.

  • Reply Fenny July 25, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    Thank you for sharing this post, we really need this kind of encouragement, I try to live in positive way and thankful for my life that I have so far.

  • Reply Marianna July 26, 2016 at 8:46 am

    How beautifully written! Exactly my thoughts, although there are many times my feelings are overwhelming and i succumb in negativity and loss of hope. But i/we must not. This is the only and one struggle we have to make from our small stand point that makes a big difference. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply James Day August 4, 2016 at 11:17 pm

    A very inspiring post Holly. It sort of brought a few tears to my eyes. Yes, sometimes it can be hard to stay optimistic when one sees so many bad things happening in the world, as we’ve seen recently. But, I feel that you are right in saying, that that we must work at living life better…and in addition, I feel that with hope and forgiveness allows us to keep an eye towards a brighter future.

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