I’m in the office today, for the first time in a long time, and it feels right. It’s good to be outside of my home office so I can think more clearly without my little son frequenting my space, “Mama, mammmaaaaa”… And to be with others who are inspired by aesthetics and design is very nice, and to be surrounded by the beautiful things because adjacent to where I sit are showrooms with the latest collections from several Danish brands.
But there is more to this office today than some pretty things and nice co-workers. There was an honest cup of coffee with a dear friend who surprised me with a text to stop by, and we talked from the heart, and it was enough to push me forward and onward and ahead. We shared where we are in life, for we’ve not talked in awhile, and spoke in a warmth and honestly that I genuinely valued. So much that I felt a lightness and joy that I hadn’t felt in months.
Life is so short, so full, but so short. And it’s the honest cups of coffee with people who know us and accept us exactly as we are, that makes living our short, full lives so enriching and meaningful. I type with tears in my eyes and a happy skipping feeling in my heart because I, for the first time in a long time, spoke with my friend in a way I’d not done before. I was present, I was there, I made eye contact, I really listened.
My retreat in Sweden with Dietlind Wolf was to explore photography and styling but it ended up becoming a deeper exploration of self – because ultimately our photography IS who we are, revealing our inner world. And since that week away, I have come in contact with my unique voice and authenticity in a way that feels so natural. Finally. I hadn’t realized for how long I stuffed all of this. I can’t believe how open I always thought I was (my whole life is online!), but I learned that I’m not as open as it seems. I am selective in what I reveal and with friends, I’m always trying to stay positive and “super happy” even in times when I want to run and hide. And it’s draining to maintain that strength when it’s not really a strength, when it’s an act. It’s a defense – like when a cat arches it back. You try to pretend you are so big and can handle everything when inside you feel like you are on the verge of tears.
Release, breathe, reveal what you conceal. You will draw in the right people and those who cannot relate will retreat. Maybe they aren’t ready for a “real” connection yet or perhaps they aren’t interested in knowing the real you. And that’s okay. Share more coffees with people who are looking to make a connection. I don’t mean selfie shots and food shots and geeking out over shoes. Sometimes that’s fine but why not use every opportunity you have with your good friends to make a connection that goes beyond the superficial. So many of us are just longing to be heard.
Try to pause today if you can, find someone you love, and share an honest cup of coffee. Peel back those layers. Allow yourself to be truly seen. Don’t worry if a tear gently rolls down your face, please don’t quickly wipe it away so your friend can’t see. Who you are, what you feel, that single tear in its fragility — it’s beautiful.
(Photo: Anoluck, Inspiration: Sara & Nanna ::kiss girls::)