This is Marisa from Creative Thursday and I’m an artist, blogger, and author from LA visiting you today while Holly is away. If you already know me in this internet blogging, podcasting land, then it will come as no surprise that my article today is for the creative dreamers, a subject I am endlessly passionate about.
So you have dreams that you want to see come true? Go for them.
Honestly I don?t think that any one of us can be reminded of that sentiment enough.
If you are a regular reader of Holly?s beautiful blog, then I?m sure you are one of the dreamers, and maybe one of your dreams includes working creatively for yourself? There are always insightful and inspiring discussions going on here in support of the creative dreamers. I was one. In fact I still am. And it?s important to note that I write this as a believer in the idea that you can have what you want in your life. My dream of being creatively self-employed came true. And my intention with this post is to share some thoughts on what has worked for me in allowing that dream to become a reality. It?s about letting go, something I am still learning to practice daily both personally and in my business.
Reaching for something greater than where you presently stand is life giving. Exciting and a little bit scary, it makes you feel ALIVE. Well let me re-phrase that; if you feel hopeful that your dream will happen it is life giving, but if you are afraid it might not, it can be a very unpleasant experience. Believe me, I know all to well that there are days when because it hasn?t happened yet, it can feel more than frustrating, often even devastating. Part of the delicate dance we learn in our life is how to find happiness in the times between the dream and the realization of that dream, a place I will call the space between. Because what you come to realize is that this is where you actually live, every day, in the space between.
Once you come to accept and even embrace the space between one dream and the next, the process of letting go becomes easier. So you might be wondering, why exactly do I want to ?let go? of something? Because when you let go, your dream has a chance to become real. I?m not sure how this happens exactly, but as much as I don?t want to believe it, every time I let go, something that I?ve been wanting comes in, even if it?s simply an answer about what to do next.
Chances are if you?re not letting go, then you are probably afraid, holding on desperately to the idea of what you want. And by doing this your life begins to stagnate, you become tired, you may blame those around you for things not happening faster, you begin to lose hope, you become frustrated. You make important decisions out of a fearful place instead of a hopeful place. Simply put if you?re not letting go on some level, then you are not trusting. And if you?re like me, you may even be trying to control EVERY aspect of your life. Not only that, but your present days become clouded with disappointment of what has not happened for you yet, instead of filled with appreciation for all you do have. And in a separate topic altogether, being in a state of appreciation is a blissful place to be and a sure sign that you?ve let go for a moment.
Not only does ?letting go? allow room for the new dreams to manifest, but it creates this space for you to notice and be grateful for your life just as it is.
And when you appreciate your life just as it is, more space is created for happiness to come in. I think it?s fair to say that most of us are in pursuit of our dreams because we think that by having them, we will be happier. True?! So why not be excited about your next dream and feel happy now. It is also important to note that I?m not referring to ?letting go? of the excitement that your dreams bring you, or letting go of the hope that they will come to fruition. I?m referring to knowing when to release the grip a little, knowing when to step back but doing so in a state of peaceful trust.
Usually there are two ways people let go. One is to give up. Right, you?ve heard that before? The familiar story is ?someone gave up on their dream and then boom! their dream came true”. The second is to trust that it will all work out.
I find it very sad to ?give up?. While I have unknowingly taken this approach, I find it incredibly disheartening to just throw in the towel. So recently I?ve tried a new approach, and that is to turn feelings of desperation and fear as to whether ?it? will happen, into feelings of hopeful expectation that ?it? will happen. This slight shift brings about a sense of knowing and calm that I can only hope to experience more often.
When I do glimpse it, this sense of calm allows me to move more graciously in life, to operate from a clear state of mind. Let?s face it. As much as we try to plan out our lives, LIFE still has a life of its own. And even though uncertainty, also known as the space between, can feel a little intimidating, there is still an excitement to not knowing how it will all turn out. What I am coming to know is that when you give into the unknown of it all, when you trust and ?let go?, whatever that means to you, life will flow in the direction it is meant to, and I believe, with your best interest at heart.
Dancing this delicate dance is constant, knowing when to take action and when to step back. When I achieved what felt like my very ?BIG? dream of being creatively self-employed, ~ somewhere just before it took hold, there was a moment where I let go, not so much in the trusting way, but in the giving up way. I literally felt like I had tried everything and I was all tapped out of ideas of what to do next. In my mind I had given it my best shot, and that?s all I knew how to do. Within weeks of this awareness, my business changed forever and has been going strong ever since. I experienced firsthand what happens when I let loose of my grip on my dreams. New doors opened and new inspiration appeared, a momentum took hold and it hasn?t slowed down. Now I have so many ideas at any given moment, that it?s all I can do to stay focused on one at a time.
Now that I?m fully living this dream that felt like years in the making, I am still reminded every day I run my business, of moments where I need to let go. There are always those times where you gear up and put action and effort into the direction you are wanting to go, and the trick is recognizing the subtle difference between those times and the times when you need to let go and trust that you?ll know the next step. These are also the moments when you become a hopeful, appreciative observer of the magic of your life, especially in the space between.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I have to say here and hopefully start a discussion so please join in with your thoughts.
Thank you for having me today decor8 readers!
(image and text by marisa haedike of creative thursday.)
Today Erin from Design For Mankind is here to talk to us on a topic that I asked her to write about because I thought she’d have a lot to say on the matter and she does! I think her words just may encourage a good discussion here today so I invite you to grab a cup of tea, sit back, and tune in to Erin’s message below — and be sure to add your comment to the mix, too! Take it away, Miss E!
Call it what you will: visual plagiarism, hacks, or sheer knock-offs. However you slice it, an increasingly saturated art/design community is becoming a feeding ground for inspiration? or is it imitation?
I recently read an article in Harper’s Bazaar about the inspiration behind today?s fashion designers. Many designers mentioned historical figures such as Napoleon, Carmen Miranda and [no joke] Minnie Mouse.
And I can?t help but wonder what exactly dear Minnie Mouse would think if she knew her look was being imitated. I can only imagine she?d hijack Goofy?s wagon and skitter on over to Zac Posen?s studio to give him a prompt speaking to.
Yet can we really control when inspiration sets in? Not at all. What we can control is what we do with that inspiration. Do we carbon copy the design? Or do we tastefully implement elements from the designs that we, ourselves, cherish? [And for the record, Zac Posen?s inspiration was quite tasteful in fact!]
Of course, this is how a trend is born. We certainly didn?t don gladiator sandals this summer for comfort; the Greek and Roman influences were found to be inspirational by a few key designers. And that?s perfectly fine. What?s not perfectly fine is an intentional lifting of originality. I mean truly, how odd would we look like running around in togas AND gladiator sandals?
I’m saddened at how often this happens in our creative community. Rather than lifting each other up and encouraging originality, I fear that we’ve become envious of the instant gratification that the Internet often provides. It seems that one good design and a few press mentions can skyrocket an artist into serious success. Just how far will we go to present that “one good design?”
It breaks my heart to see an unoriginal piece. To me, a unique design has life. It has passion. And it becomes beautiful only when you can truly see the artist’s spirit behind his/her work. Thus, when we attempt to borrow elements of someone else’s work, the result is often never quite right. Much like a person without a genuine spirit can be spotted like a sore thumb, so, too, can an artist without an individualistic nature.
And you know what? Bloggers, we’re to blame as well. How often have we posted material that originated from somewhere else, only to (a) forget, (b) refuse or (c) fail to credit our source?
Indeed, there is a fine line between inspiration and imitation, and although I hate to create additional boundaries in art, I’d like to see us all work harder to find our true passions. I quite understand that many of our inspirations derive from the same source, and I think that’s a wonderful thing. The problem lies in our intentions. Are we creating something that we truly believe in? Or are we creating a spin-off of something that already exists simply because it sells?
From now on, let’s embrace the community that we’ve helped to build. Let’s encourage, congratulate and experience alongside of each other, not across from. I hope that someday we can each feel proud of the talents we’ve been given and showcase these unique gifts in beautiful, original ways.
Until then, know that imitation? It’s not such a form of flattery after all.
What are your thoughts on this topic? When does inspiration become imitation? What is the difference between inspired by and ripped off? Your thoughts?
– All text by Erin from Design For Mankind.
(images from evaxebra)
I had huge reservations on posting this, I feared the home owner would contact me and tell me to either bite it or she’d do a drive by and take out all of my windows. But then I thought that if you have a living room that looks like this and you allowed the The New York Times to feature it then you must not really care about the opinions of others. And that’s pretty cool.
I’d love to get your thoughts on this NYC apartment that AT calls the Kidcentric Townhouse in the East Village. Homeowner Pamela Bell is one of the four original partners in the Kate Spade brand. In celebration of 15 years of hard work, this 42-year-old single mum has decided to take time off and dedicated her home to her three children. You can read the article When Perfect Is Not The Goal and view the slideshow here.
My opinion: It’s hard to judge how another person wants to live. Period. It’s Ms. Bell’s decision ultimately. Truth be told, I’m jealous that she has a $4.3 million townhouse. I could easily split time between there and Germany, I’d gladly trade that life in exchange for my New Hampshire home at any time. And another thing that I respect is that her home is painted in colors chosen by the children. Brilliant! The fact that the whole family was involved in the color selection is quite thoughtful.
I look at that sofa, marked up by her daughter and her classmates, and think it looks pretty cool. But then the practical side of me kicks in and that side isn’t too keen on marker art scribbled all over a very expensive sofa. And chair. But it isn’t mine, so who really cares. She likes it and good for her. My only wish is that she had offered the sofa pre-markers to me first and I could have given her my Room & Board one. (Sorry R&B, but John Derian wins in this case).
I’m not sure if their are other pieces in the home where she has allowed marker art… Perhaps the sofa and chairs are it and if that’s the case perhaps she views them as works of art and if so, fine. Go for it. But if the children have free reign over the walls and floors and anything else, I wouldn’t allow it personally because some of the designer pieces in my own home are like books, I cherish them and would never do anything to harm them. I wouldn’t draw in my favorite books nor will I allow my future children to mark them up. But who cares what I would do. This is Ms. Bell’s home. But back to the book thing, if I do have a book that isn’t quite a treasured piece (a 1969 cookbook that is already in poor condition) then I may decide to alter it in some way. Same goes for a dresser or chair that I no longer like. I give myself permission to alter it anytime I please – new fabric, new paint, etc. I think this may be the approach that she has taken here and so part of me totally gets it.
Now to make a sweeping could-be-controversial statement having to do with money. Another paragraph I dread writing but here I go…
I think it may also be a money thing. Clearly if you have millions to spend on a home then money is viewed differently than say, how I look at it. I will never own a home worth 4.3 million dollars. I have accepted this truth as most of us have. Big deal, I live large in other ways. I have lived on all income levels actually, from poor single girl to married woman with a crash pad in Germany. So I have saved a little cash and my bank account is okay. Just not million dollar okay. But I’m happy with what I have, but my mother was raised on a huge farm in Rhode Island and my dad was born in Kentucky to a working class family. Though I was raised slightly different, their roots influenced me. They were always quick to remind me of the sacrifices that they made as kids whenever I would play the “only child” card to get my way. They didn’t buy it, I wasn’t allowed to be the cherished only kid, I was to respect them, others, and our family property. I had my creative play space yes, but it wasn’t on the family sofa with my trusty set of smelly markers (cherry was my favorite). I recall when I was 4-years-old my mother gave me an original Shirley Temple doll, one that she was given for Christmas as a little girl. I took permanent markers to the porcelain face and to this day I still remember watching her cry. She wasn’t angry, she was deeply hurt. Years later she told me it was her fault to give it to a child in the first place, she should have waited until I was older and understood the value of things. It meant something to her and seeing her sadness impacted me so greatly that I looked at material possessions differently after that.
A cherished doll and a John Derian sofa are very different things so it could be that Ms. Bell does not attach herself to items in her home enough to really care what the kids do to them. If that is the case, I applaud her. Sometimes I wish I could detach from worry and not care about staining the rug.
What is YOUR opinion? How much decorating direction from the children do you allow in your own home (or would you allow)?
(images from the new york times)
There’s a new crop of decorators out there offering what is called e-decorating that may well be the next big thing in design. I took on some e-clients a few years ago, I met them through decor8 and offered them consulting (for a fee) via email and telephone. It was so much fun but quite time consuming so I decided to step back for a bit. I’m still trying to figure out if it is something that I would like to do again, I see so much value in it as I love the idea of being available to all — not just greater Boston. I also completely ‘get’ that people have busy schedules and a limited budget and need to connect to someone for decorating help via the web – fast and easy. I think many would love to tap into the brains of some of our favorite decorators (or bloggers!) for their personal opinions about our space or for much more… help in pulling together a complete room simply through email. Someone to look at our photos, review our floor plan, make suggestions, send us a few mood boards to select from, and email lots of product links our way. Doesn’t that sound heavenly?
Well this service exists and it’s called e-decorating. Did you know that the Betsy Burnham offers a similar service called Instant Space (I’ve heard that it is amazing)? It is still out of reach for most when it comes to pricing, it’s not something all can fit into their budget since prices range from $895-1,495 per room. Of course, hiring Burnham’s firm to design in real time would cost way more than her through-the-mail decorating service, so it is a great way to save money if you look at it from that perspective. And c’mon. It’s Betsy Burnham. I would hire her in a second just for the tips as I’m sure she could teach me a thing or two, or ten thousand.
Then there are other amazing designers out there who are a lot more affordable like Vanessa De Vargas who runs the LA-based design firm Turquoise. You know Vanessa because she writes here on decor8 from time to time. She just launched an e-decorating service that is doing quite well. Everyone loves Vanessa. The girl is just contagious, from her personality to her style and ability to connect to ‘real’ people on budgets. I love that about her. She doesn’t refer her clients to $700 lamps, if they want something from IKEA she’ll find them a $30 pendant and because she knows how to pull a room together, that $30 light will rock like it’s $700. Her rates range from $450-500 per room. Considering the time and energy it takes to do this work, she is keeping it real without losing money herself. I think her prices are quite good.
I simply cannot mention e-decorating and not highlight the lovely Elfya Van Muylem, lead designer and founder of NYC-based Home Refiner. This lady is amazing on so many levels. I blogged about her diy videos back in February if the name sounds familiar. Above is a photo of a package she sent over that usually goes to her prospective virtual clients. I had a phone conversation with Elfya a few months ago and she was enthusiastic, professional, and extremely knowledgeable. I thought her presentation via mail was just great, and the package contained client worksheets and questions so she could better understand personal tastes and needs. I’m not exactly sure of her rates, but I heard she is within reach. And you know something that is totally unrelated but shows how classy Elfya is? Her website. You have to click here, turn up the sound, and listen to the gorgeous music. I’ve been listening the entire time of writing this post, I think you’ll really like it. It shows me that she has layers to her personality, she’s emotional, warm, connected, I like that. And her taste in music is great.
So ladies and gents, what do you think about e-decorating? Is it something you’d consider? What would you call an ‘affordable’ per room fee? What do you expect as a client?
(photography by holly becker)