I’ll be honest: running a small business is personal. It’s not just about products, posts, or profits. It’s about putting yourself out there, sharing your voice, and letting the world see you. And that can be terrifying, especially when your self-worth gets tangled up in your business’s performance.
Yep, I’m talking about business codependency—when you start measuring your self-esteem by how many likes you get or how many comments come in when you post on Insta. When your day is ruined by a dip in engagement or a negative comment. When you start thinking, “If my business isn’t thriving, then neither am I.”
I’ve been there. When I first started blogging and using social regularly back in 2006, my mood was a rollercoaster tied to blog stats and how many likes and comments that I had.
Good numbers? I felt unstoppable.
Crickets? I’d spiral into self-doubt. It was exhausting, and honestly, pretty unhealthy.
So, what exactly is business codependency?
It’s when you rely on your business for emotional validation.
It’s when success feels like love and failure feels like rejection.
It’s when you put impossible expectations on yourself and then beat yourself up when you don’t meet them.
Sound familiar?
Here are some signs you might be dealing with it:
You feel guilty taking time off because if you’re not working, you’re not valuable.
You seek constant validation from sales, likes, or client feedback.
You avoid taking risks because you’re terrified of failure or judgment.
You say “yes” to everything because you’re afraid of letting people down.
You feel lost when things are slow, like your worth is tied to your business’s success.
The truth is, business codependency is sneaky. It shows up as perfectionism, procrastination, and people-pleasing. It’s the reason you feel crushed by a negative comment or completely defeated by a bad sales week. It’s why you’re scared to launch something new or why you disappear after you do, overwhelmed by the pressure.
And here’s the kicker: You’re not alone. I’ve been there, and sometimes I’m still there. But I’ve learned a few tricks along the way that have helped me break free. I’m sharing these because I wish someone had shared them with me earlier. These aren’t magic fixes, but they’re powerful mindset shifts that can help you loosen the grip of business codependency.
Tip 1: Stop Expecting Your Business to Prove Your Worth
Your value isn’t tied to your numbers. Sales, likes, and followers don’t determine your worth—you do. Do you feel crushed when engagement dips or elated when it spikes? If so, it’s time to redefine success by purpose and impact, not metrics.
Tip 2: Show Up Imperfectly (Because Perfect Doesn’t Exist)
I know how hard this one is—trust me. I’ve rewritten blog posts ten times before hitting “publish” because I was scared of what people would think. But showing up imperfectly is better than not showing up at all. Give yourself permission to be messy, vulnerable, and real. People don’t connect with perfection—they connect with authenticity.
Tip 3: Stop Giving Away Your Power
I see this a lot: saying “yes” to every client request, bending over backward, and then feeling resentful or burned out. Been there. Start setting boundaries and remember that saying “no” to what drains you is saying “yes” to your well-being and creativity.
Tip 4: Launch, Learn, and Let Go
Ever launch something and then immediately want to hide under a rock? Or worse, not launch at all because it’s “not ready”? That’s business codependency’s way of keeping you safe. View each launch as an experiment, not a test of your worth. Done is better than perfect.
REMEMBER THIS: You’re enough. And so is your business.